Words

I spoke a few weeks ago about the importance of how we communicate with one another.  Since that time I have been doing an unintentional study of what the scriptures say about how we communicate with other people.  I say unintentional simply because that is the way the whole thing has been coming together.  As I read the scriptures, when I come to a verse that has something to say about the power, value or impact of words, I make a note of it and it then becomes, quite unintentionally, part of my study on how God expects us to communicate with other people.  

Have ever noticed how often the scriptures deal with the notion how we are supposed to communicate? It is amazing to me the number of references I’ve found, without even trying.  I think it is interesting to note however, that the real issue isn’t the words that come out of our mouth; the real issue is what drives us; it’s about the stuff that is deep inside us, the stuff that causes us to speak to one another in the manner that we do.   

I spent an enormous amount of time being trained to become a trainer so that I train people how to talk with other people in a manner that was effective, respectful and clear.  If you think about that sentence for a minute, it is really kind of said – it’s sad because there is actually a market for a company, a number of companies for that matter, that specializes in training its employees how to communicate in a manner that is effective, respectful and clear.  

What I found in the training that I did (I trained in both profit and non-profit settings) is that most people had difficulty communicating because they were always focused on what they needed – the person doing the talking had an agenda, and they put it out there, often with little to no regard for what the person to whom they were talking needed, desired or hoped to achieve.  

It’s one thing to learn neat little tricks that help you communicate more effectively. It’s another thing to work on changing the internal dynamics that cause the missteps in the first place.  

I hope that I will have time to come back to this idea again this week – there is so much to say about the importance of communicating well – we build bridges, we build up or we tear down and destroy, all with the power of a few well chosen or poorly chosen words.  Too much hangs in the balance to not care about how well we do this.  

 

Words Are Important

I haven’t had time to post much the last few weeks – work has been crazy busy; it’s all good though.  Because I spend almost all of my time either writing to donors and/or pastors or talking with same, I have become increasingly aware of how important it is to take care in how we communicate with one another.  

There was a time in the 80’s, thankfully short-lived, that taught aggressive, bold and to the point communication was the way to weave your way through the corporate maze, ultimately earning you the prize of moving up a wrung or two on the ladder to heaven knows what.  What was soon realized was that they only person that ever felt good about this type of communication was the overbearing, type A, corporate bull-in-a-China-shop manager. Pretty much everyone on the receiving end, as well as the bystanders listening in, felt that this type of verbal and/or written abuse was rude, counter-productive and demotivating.  

Wonderfully, but slowly, communication moved the path of communicating sensitively.  Sensitive communication sounds great – and it is most assuredly better than the nasty, aggressive variety, but what was learned using this approach is that if you communicate too sensitively in all situations, sometimes urgency can be lost when there is no time for it to be lost, or even post-poned for that matter.

A shift to a more centric, rational and clear communication style that engaged both sensitivity and clarity was the next and most helpful shift in communication style; or so it seems.  

Obviously I am over-simplifying and generalizing all that has happened in the world of communication training and genre, but the point remains true – words and how we use them are important.  

I have been drawn to the study and observation of how people communicate with one another because it is what I do for a living, and because it is given an unmistakeable place of prominence throughout the Scripture. 

This post will be continued because there is just so much to say – I especially believe that we who claim the title of “Jesus Follower,” should be held to a much higher standard than others when it comes to our interpersonal communication style.

Words can heal, they can inspire and they can cause mortal wounds – it would be good for us to choose carefully not only the words that we use, but also the tone, the manner and the inflection.   More later – Thanks for checking in –